We were bowling Friday night. Picture this: a group of teachers and spouses, most dressed in their Friday Green and Gold, gathered at the local bowling alley (and Pokemon gym) for a post-holiday party. I managed to catch several Pokemon critters while we were gathering. Chuck captured a local craft beer for himself and a glass of white zinfandel for me. And then we bowled.
None of us – okay, few of us – were any good at it, so spares and strikes were exciting. It was reminiscent of the Pepsi commercials featuring Odell Beckham and some ordinary everyday folks celebrating their own achievements. Remember “This must be how Shelly felt when she won that purple bear”? I came back from a that’ll show ’em spare announcing to my team “This must be how Aaron Rodgers feels when he throws a Hail Mary!”
And it built from there.
Strike! “This must be how DaVante Adams felt when he scored that touchdown!”
Spare! and a strike to follow! “This must be how Clay Matthews felt when he caused that fumble and recovered it himself!”
Gutter ball. “This must be how Brett Favre felt when he retired – the first time.”
A missed split for a missed spare: “This must be how Odell Beckham felt when he punched a hole in the locker room wall.”
You can imagine the inspirations for these.
This must be how Richard Rodgers felt when he caught that Hail Mary against the Lions.
This must be how Mike McCarthy feels every time Aaron Rodgers throws a Hail Mary.
This must be how Jordy Nelson felt when he got speared in the ribs by that dirty hit.
This must be how Mason Crosby felt when he kicked off and then had to tackle the receiver.
This must be how Tom Brady felt when he got caught deflating his footballs.
Yeah, it was getting lamer than lame as the beers and the gin and tonics got tallied up and we returned our ugly shoes to the counter. In our defense, it was Friday the 13th, a full moon, and we’re teachers, for heaven’s sake!
So readers, let’s leave it at that. Play the game with me. What would you say to fill in the blanks? “That must be how (blank) felt when (blankety blank) happened.” Now put your Diet Pepsi down, and think on it. If it takes a little while, just remember that the 23rd time is the charm. Hey, it worked for Shelly.