Dear world; again? So soon?

Posted on November 30, 2012 by Daisy

Dear clinic that shall not be named –

I’m sure she meant it in the best possible way. I won’t assume anything, but I’ll guess that the RN in charge of messaging didn’t mean to use a commonly known text-message and IM abbreviation. She must have been unaware that there could be another interpretation. So, dear clinic, you still might want to train your personnel to be more careful with their shortcuts, lest they tell an already frustrated patient to do this.

“Please call our office to schedule this f/u appt.”

Okay, Readers, here’s the rest of the story. As I make arrangements for multiple appointments, including another MRI for my neck and the start of a potentially lengthy series of Physical Therapy, I’m doing my absolute best to schedule at the beginning or end of a school day so I can get away with using less sick time. I used up years of accrued sick days in order to take a significant leave of absence in 2011. I started earning sick leave from scratch last year, so there’s not much in my sick bay at the moment. Dealing with cataract surgery and attempts to see a psychiatric nurse practitioner who only worked from 8 to 3 weekdays, I withdrew plenty from that account. And that reminds me –

Dear clinic that shall not be named –

Forcing someone with a severe depression to wait seven months for psychiatric care is a bad idea. Assigning a teacher (a field known for less-than-flexible schedules) to a psychiatric nurse practitioner who doesn’t see patients after 3:00 p.m., well, is yet another poorly considered idea. So think about it, clinic, oh you-who-claim-2B-efficient. A seven month wait? A medical professional with office hours that force the patient to take time off from work every single time? Efficient? Not for the patient.

Readers, I gave up on the psychiatric care. My family physician has done well treating my depression, as well as or better than the one-who-was-not-worth-the wait. I know from past experience that I need to put myself first. In the real world of employment, however, I need to balance my doctor time with my work time. I love my work and my job, too. I’d like to stay employed there. My supervisors would like me to remain employed there, too.

I guess it would be more efficient on my end to remember that laughter is the best medicine. The next time an RN writes “f/u” in a message, I’ll just respond by ROTFLMAO. Right? Right.

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Dear Pharmacy; your carbon footprint stinks.

Posted on April 6, 2012 by Daisy

Dear Pharmacy that shall not be Named;

If just 25% of U.S. families used 10 fewer plastic bags a month, we would save over 2.5 billion bags a year.* So tell me; why do you have such a problem with my bringing my own bag? Last time I had to tell the clerk twice, loudly and clearly, before she looked at me with a confused expression and then set the plastic bag down. I guess I’ll take the confused expression over the eye roll I’ve gotten several other times.

Well, dear Pharmacy, let’s look at another wasteful habit. Every single time a clerk hands out a (stupid little plastic) bag, it contains advertising. Flu shots, diabetes supplies, the smart phone app for refills – I don’t need these. Really. And when I hand back the paper with a “Thanks, but I’ve already had my flu shot,” the paper doesn’t go to another customer; it goes in the recycling. What the heck? Your carbon footprint approaches Paul Bunyan’s print in size.

Pharmacy, dear, oh Ye Who Shall Not be Named, I just moved the bulk of my maintenance medications to another provider. I no longer plan to make multiple trips per month, tolerate the attitude, or accept the outrageous amount of waste generated.

Got it? Oh. I didn’t think so. Never mind.

Sincerely,

Daisy

*source: http://www.handprinter.org/

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>How to Adjust to a New Sleep Medication

Posted on April 5, 2012 by Daisy

>Disclaimer: Adjustment Daisy style does not replace or even supplement real medical advice. This adjustment addresses the woozy feeling in the morning, sometimes called the Hangover Effect.

Have coffee with a friend. The coffee will infuse caffeine; the conversation will be enlightening.
Snuggle a blanket. This acknowledges the desire to sleep again while not giving in completely to the call of the pillows.
Put pots and trays of seedlings outside. Between the sun and the cool temperatures, nature helps wake up the soul.
Blog. But be careful; proofread later when feeling less loopy.
Feed and pet a rabbit. This is a valid strategy for almost any condition. Rabbits are magical.
Watch the weather channel or CNN, depending on the mood.
Avoid game shows on TV. The over-animated applause and the bells & whistles are annoying and all too often generate headaches.
Contemplate changing timing of taking medication at night to allow for successful awakening in the morning.

Readers, can you add to the list?

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>Insomnia

Posted on April 4, 2012 by Daisy

>Two bad nights in a row. That’s unusual. Most of the time one bad night will leave me tired enough to sleep the second. Not this time.

So far:

no naps
keeping busy outside (re-potted tomato seedlings)
half-caff coffee, none after noon
keeping busy inside (laundry, a necessary evil)
keeping mind busy – this is the toughest element in the list.

My brain has been linking memories and concerns with connections that just don’t make sense. Round and round, circular motion, or is it a spiral? If it’s a spiral, I wish it would spiral out of my mind and let me sleep.

Social networking is coming in handy. Online friends have recommended:

melatonin, in small doses
meditation
notebook next to the bed for writing concerns, even poems
Music: when I’m obsessing over regrets from the past, remember “Let it be.”
Music: “Morning has Broken” to ease me out of bed whether I’ve slept or not

One major decision: Do I call the doctor? And if so, the family doctor or the psychiatric NP with the several-month long waiting list? I’m not eager to start Ambien or any other sleep aid. I fear the addiction that I developed last time Ambien was part of my routine.

Well, dear readers, I’ll take any advice you have for me. If I could just shut off the part of my brain that keeps replaying regrets and mistakes and — that’s it, just and.

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>Dear Clinic; Efficient? Nope.

Posted on March 22, 2012 by Daisy

Actual (almost) exchange by way of the messaging system at our local Clinic That Shall Not Be Named

Dear Family Doc’s Office;

You will receive (or may have already received) a request from (insert insurance company’s mail-order pharmacy here) to transfer four prescriptions to them from the local Pharmacy Who Shall Not be Named. Please keep Pharmacy on my list for short term medication needs.

Sincerely,

Daisy

Dear Daisy;

Refills of your medications have been sent to (insert new pharmacy here) this morning. You are due for a medication/asthma check appointment in April. If you mention the “wait list” the scheduler will know what to do.

Sincerely,

LPN a.k.a. Refill Associate

Wait list? In my vocabulary, those are four letter words. Oh, wait, they ARE four letter words. But anyway, the saga continued –

Confused, because I usually take care of this kind of med check in the summer along with my annual check-up, I made the appointment anyway. After enduring a cold silence when I mentioned that my lack of flexibility was due to my job as a teacher, we managed to find an appointment during my Spring Break. I was to fast overnight, get blood work done, and then talk with the doctor. I wasn’t convinced, though. This was out of the ordinary.

Dear Messaging System at the Clinic That Shall Not be Named;

For the past several years I’ve combined my med checks with a physical in July or August. The message that I need a fasting medication check in April caught me by surprise.

Is the appointment really necessary?

Why the change in routine?

Oh, well, why bother asking,

Daisy

Hi Daisy — all the Docs agreed on medication protocols/visits for certain chronic illnesses, which is usually every 6 months — each MD does have exceptions to the rule though.

I will route this by Family Doc for you, and we’ll be back in touch with his response.

Thanks.

RN in Family Doc’s Offices

Ooh – I actually got an answer from an RN this time. Maybe MD is next. Have I jumped through enough hoops yet to get to the top?

Hi, Daisy – Family Doc had the following comment:

Daisy can be seen for her annual visit in July or August and meds checked then.

Sincerely, RN in Family Doc’s Offices

All of this leaves me wondering once again: is this supposed to be efficient?

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Writing is therapeutic. Email? Maybe.

Posted on March 1, 2012 by Daisy

Blogging is therapeutic. Email can be therapeutic as well – sometimes. Within reason. Occasionally. With very little editing, just enough to protect the innocent and not-so-much, here’s an example, courtesy of Chuck’s challenging day at work.

Me: Northern Wisconsin has 16 inches of snow. Madison and Milwaukee have sunshine.

Chuck: I’m being snowed under sorting out the incompetence from the non-functional.

Me: There must be a Dilbert-style quote or post in there somewhere.

Chuck: Department motto – Our perfection has to overcome their incompetence.

Me: I still like “Engineering: We put the fun in dysfunctional.”

Chuck: Now we’re applying soothing unction to the dysfunction.

Then we both got busy and went back to work.

On another topic: blogging has been therapeutic, too. A coworker asked how I keep up with everything. She was referring to the fact that I helped out in high school English for a few days, submitted a blog post and wrote a new profile for our national office’s PR department, while still somehow managing to do my own job and do it well, too. I stopped in my tracks. This is such a huge dramatic change. It’s a change back to normal, whatever that is.

One year ago, I was blogging my way through the worst depression of my life. This illness had me knocked out, incapable of working, and barely functioning. Thanks to many professionals and family and friends, I’m now back in the land of the working and the happy and the energetic. Wow, I thought, maybe this is what healthy feels like.

Then a dangerous thought crossed my mind. Would a collection of my posts be of interest to other people suffering the same way I did? Knowing I wasn’t alone was such a comforting feeling. Battling the depression demon was long and difficult, but possible. The long and winding road (uphill both ways, of course) can lead to health and success.

Well, readers, with a little revision to protect myself and others, could the Compostermom Chronicles become a journal of healing? Share your thoughts, readers, and I’ll start giving it some thought myself.

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>Back in the Saddle Again

Posted on January 8, 2012 by Daisy

>It took a little more than I expected. Going back after break wasn’t as smooth as I thought it might be. Then I remembered.

I didn’t teach a full year last year. Coming back after break is a new skill – or one I need to remember from two years ago. I ran into unexpected responses as 2012 Back to School began.

Sleep.

My sleep routine was completely mixed up. I had trouble getting to sleep at night, staying asleep at night, and getting up in the morning. I tried a variety of solutions with a variety of results.

One night of Ambien. One night should be okay. My dependence on the drug developed after several months’ use, but one night – well, it wasn’t okay. I slept well that night, but the following night felt like withdrawal all over again. Deep sigh. I guess I can’t chance taking this again.

After a sleepless night filled with symptoms of withdrawal, I thought I’d be exhausted enough to collapse into dreamland. Not so. Around midnight I gave in and took six mg of melatonin. It helped me get to sleep; getting up in the morning was still difficult.

Melatonin may be my temporary solution. By taking it every night, on Friday I felt awake and energized. If this week’s sleep goes better, I can start walking to work again. The walk in itself will help me sleep at night, and the fresh air will help wake me in the morning. Look out, walking shoes, here I come!

Sleep is precious. After the past year’s experiences, I’ll never take sleep for granted again. Monday, here I come: hopefully with a full night’s deposit in the sleep bank.

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>Dear World; you’re kidding, right?

Posted on January 5, 2012 by Daisy

>Dear Clinic That Shall Not be Named;

If the best advice you can offer is, “Talk to a person next time,” your system might be broken. Just sayin’.

Dear Pharmacy with Recorded Messages;

If the best advice you can offer is, “Talk to a person next time,” your system might be broken. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Dear Forrest;

Those boxes of designer chocolates often have a map inside the top cover. Look for it.

Dear Clinic That Shall Not be Named;

Your online messaging system has major glaring weaknesses. After its failure, I suffered through listening to a recorded message while on hold – a recorded message telling me how I could “take control of my own health care” by using the online messaging system. Ahem.

Dear Pharmacy Tech;

If your recorded message tells me I have no refills left, why would I call to see if my refill is ready?

Dear Clinic:

Do you really, honestly, truly have no way of recording a concern? No way to prevent this kind of mistake from recurring?

Dear Chuck;

Can we please order take-out for supper tonight? I have no brainpower or energy left.

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>What a difference – a year makes

Posted on December 31, 2011 by Daisy

One year ago, it was the end of a year and the beginning of a long winter’s nap. Rest. Healing period. I took a leave of absence from my teaching job after the winter break to rest and seek treatment for the worst depression of my life. Now — well, I’ve come a long, long way.

In 2011:

I learned that it was possible to love my work, but hate my job.

I used my writing skill to procure grant money, buying books for struggling readers. No one at school seemed to care.

My physical and mental health were at the lowest I’ve ever experienced.

I struggled to get through Christmas, a holiday I usually love.

“My” Green Bay Packers had one more season game left. To make the playoffs as a wild card team, they had to beat their arch rivals (and division champions) Da Bears. They beat them – and more.

I was preparing to visit doctors, counselors, and the pharmacy often. Very often.

As 2012 begins:

I can say I love my work. I found a position that utilizes my teaching strengths and my interests in technology.

I use my writing skill for blogging, and I have a workable rough draft of a non-fiction book.

I also use my writing skill to communicate with parents of my students. This skill was useful last September when I recruited families to attend a field trip that had been poorly attended in the past. My coworkers were thrilled.

Both my physical and mental health have improved significantly. No, they’ve improved greatly. I’m not out of the woods yet, I haven’t reached full strength emotionally and physically, but I’m doing very, very well overall.

Christmas was as it should be – a time to gather with family and friends to enjoy the traditions that make the holiday special.

My Green Bay Packers clinched the division title weeks ago, a first round bye and home field advantage last week, and head into the playoffs with an impressive win-loss record. Did you notice that absence of quotation marks around the word my? Check it out here.

Doctors and other medical professionals? I value those who helped treat me through the toughest and darkest hours last year. I’m in their offices much less often now, and that’s a good feeling.

What a difference a year makes – in so many ways. I still have flashbacks, usually in the form of nightmares or insomnia. I still tire easily, or at least more easily that I feel I should. However, this happens much less often now than it did just twelve months ago. But thanks to family, friends, and medical professionals, the marathon that is recovery continues.

I won’t even bother to go into the political climate in the past year – yet. It’ll show up in another post or posts.

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>When nothing is going right…the Worry Monster

Posted on December 21, 2011 by Daisy

>Heard on Twitter – “When nothing in life is going right, go left.”

I lean pretty far to the left as it is, so I find other ways to cope. The hardest part of coping with life in general is facing the Worry Monster.

The Worry Monster invades my thoughts when something unpredictable or uncontrollable is coming up, something I need to face but can’t really change. The Worry Monster enters through the side door, suggesting I worry about something coming up – a routine medical procedure, perhaps. As I’m consciously deciding not to worry about it, the Monster will suggest something else that deserves worry. By the time the Monster leaves, laughing its evil laugh, I’ve probably worried about a number of upcoming dates or vague future events.

I fight the Worry Monster by staying active. Politically, the Worry Monster thinks I should worry about all that’s going on in Madison. In place of worry, I choose concern. I write letters and emails. I blog. I volunteer with Organizing for America (OFA) by entering data after phone banks and canvass days. I make an occasional donation, but my main contribution is time.

I fought the Worry Monster before the frost came by working in the garden. Simple and mindless tasks such as weeding and watering provided think time. Think time isn’t worry; it’s work-things-through time. As long as I remembered the mosquito repellent, I could stay in the garden for hours, weeding, watering, and processing thoughts. The garden really does nourish the soul.

Now, when the garden lies sleeping the winter away under a blanket of leaves, I play in the kitchen. Cooking is work; baking is play. It’s productive, fun, and a great creative outlet. I’ve considered attempting sourdough bread; maybe it’s time to get serious and create a sourdough starter. Maybe – after the holiday cookies are done.

So take that, Worry Monster. If not much is going right in life, I just turn to the left and get busy.

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Compost Happens

Taking care of family, garden, and coffee and sharing it with the online world

Tag Archives: depression

Dear world; again? So soon?

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Dear Pharmacy; your carbon footprint stinks.

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>How to Adjust to a New Sleep Medication

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>Insomnia

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>Dear Clinic; Efficient? Nope.

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Writing is therapeutic. Email? Maybe.

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>Back in the Saddle Again

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>Dear World; you’re kidding, right?

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>What a difference – a year makes

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>When nothing is going right…the Worry Monster

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