First came the voice mail on the home phone suggesting I call and make an appointment.

Next, I attempted to make an appointment through the messaging system. I hear you laughing already. Here goes:

Me: I received an automated voice mail suggesting that I make an appointment. Is this necessary?

Clinic Messenger: Yes you are due for a annual Physical in July and medication review and renewal then also.

July? It’s now January. Okay, I’ll try to plan ahead. I’ll  fill out the form and ask for a morning in July.

Scheduler: What is the reason for the appointment? Please list any symptoms you are having so we can give the providers some notes to better prepare them for your appointment.

Me: I received a voice mail saying I was due for an appointment and I should call. It turns out the only appointment I’m due for is a physical in July. Perhaps this was an error in the system? No one seems to be expecting my request.

Scheduler: I looked in your chart, and in our auto-matted phone system and it looks like they were calling about your Hyper-tension-HTN, if you are on medication and are going to need new scripts, you may be due for a Medication Check. That is what they were calling for, not the Physical. If you would like to schedule a appointment for the Hyper-tension please let us know a date and time that will work for you and if you fast for your medication checks. Thanks.

Me: ????? 

Dear Clinic That Shall Not Be Named: Your right hand does not know what the left hand is doing. That’s all.

With all due respect,

Daisy