>We attended a minor league baseball game last night, courtesy of our local car dealership. They paid for general admission tickets and a picnic supper before the game. An experience like this with a blind/Aspergers child is fun, but a little different.

The conversation:
Mom: Let’s find a place to sit on the grass and eat our hot dogs.
El Grande: No, I don’t know how! I don’t know how to eat sitting on the ground!
Mom: We’ll help you figure it out. Would you like a Mt. Dew to drink?
Dad: I’ll go get a blanket from the car; you two find a place.

Reading between the lines, or the interpretation.
Mom: Let’s settle down soon.
El Grande: Oh, no! I’ve never done this before! I might spill if I can’t see my food! It’s too crowded and loud to concentrate and learn something new! I hope I don’t have a melt-down.
Mom: Oh, no, I’d better help him stay calm. I hope he doesn’t have a melt-down.
Dad: I’d better go get something to help smooth this situation. I hope he doesn’t have a melt-down.

the next installment:
Mom: Here’s your hot dog.
El Grande: What can I use for a plate?
Mom: I’ll give you the foil wrap to put on your lap.
El Grande: Okay. What did you get me to drink?
Mom: Dew. Do you want me to open it?
El Grande: No. I can do it myself.

Reading between the lines:
Mom: Here’s your hot dog. Oh, I hope this works.
El Grande: What if I drop it? I’ve never done this before without a table.
Mom: Maybe this will reassure him.
El Grande: Okay, this is a little more like normal.
Mom: He’s settling a little. Maybe I can help…
El Grande: I’m settling a little. I can open the can myself now.

The next installment:
Dad: Here’s a blanket. Scoot over.
El Grande: Okay. Dad, do you want chips?
Mom: This is a blanket that it’s okay to spill on.
Dad: Yeah, it’s the one from my trunk.
El Grande: Yeah, this is more comfortable.
Dad: We’re sitting right next to a new convertible model.
El Grande: Cool! Can I have another hot dog?

The interpretation:
Dad: I hope everything’s okay and I’m not too late.
El Grande: I fell better now that I’m eating. Eating is normal.
Mom: I know he panics if he spills. I’ll remind him that spilling isn’t a catastrophe.
Dad: He panics if he spills in public.
El Grande: Yum. I wonder if they’ll let me have another hot dog?
Dad: Let’s change the subject. I’ll distract him.
El Grande: Everything’s fine now. Can’t you two stop worrying?

Yes, parenting is different when the child can’t see and has autism. Sometimes his high-level functioning causes us to forget that he still fears certain unknowns, especially those that could end up in “disaster” like spilling in public.
The baseball game ended up being fun. We had general admission seats on a grassy hill, so we stretched out on the blankets to watch the game and the other fans. El Grande knows all the cheers that go with the stadium music, so the younger kids were awed by him and the other grown-ups smiled and joined in. We caught a souvenir ball, one of the many goodies they toss to the crowd. (Last summer I caught a t-shirt.) The team lost (14-4, ouch!), but the post-game fireworks were great. And I must admit, we enjoyed the popcorn and beer, too.

It’s all in a day’s work for parents. When the child is disabled, it raises the bar a bit, but it all works out in the end. Take me out to the ball game!

>

Here you see the results of my afternoon yesterday. No dish drainer, and yes, the kitchen is really that small. There’s also very little counter space. We call it our “one person kitchen”. There’s not much risk of too many cooks spoiling the broth because there just isn’t room for more than one cook– or dish washer(human, that is). Now that I can keep up by washing after each meal, it will never get quite this bad again. And I’ll keep reminding myself: it could be worse, it could be raining!

>In high school my friend D. liked to quote her mother by saying, “Could be worse, could be raining!” to keep things in perspective. That phrase kept running through my mind today as one thing after another went wrong, but all in all, things could have been much worse.

Fortunately, last night was the coolest night we’ve had in ages and we woke up feeling rested.
Unfortunately, Husband and I both overslept. He dove for a quick shower while I tried to figure out how it happened. Nothing was wrong with the alarm, the time was set properly, and the radio alarm was set to “on”. Who knows?
Fortunately, he has worked late several times this week, so if he arrived a few minutes late today it wouldn’t be a problem.

Fortunately, the dishwasher was loaded and ready to run. As soon as Husband took a running leap out of the house and into the car, I filled it (the dishwasher, not the car) with soap and pushed the button to start it.
Unfortunately, the dishwasher broke out in (no, not song) a noise that mimicked a chain saw.
Fortunately, there’s a button for “Cancel and Drain”.
Unfortunately, the noise continued.
Fortunately, the ever-competent part of me figured out how to prop the door open just enough to stop the whole process.
Fortunately, I looked into the appliance and managed to find a small part that was obviously cracked.
Unfortunately, I had no idea what it was or how to fix it.

Fortunately, it was a Cleaning Service day! They do a great job on our home and I’m so grateful!
Unfortunately, they arrived a little early, so La Petite (she who doesn’t do mornings) was still in bed.
Fortunately, El Grande takes great pleasure in waking his older sister.
Unfortunately, I was so busy with the Chainsaw Dishwasher that I wasn’t ready, either. I hadn’t written a check or straightened up nearly enough.
Fortunately, the cleaning people can work around almost anything. I wrote the check, warned them about the dishwasher, and and we piled into the van to get out of the way.

Fortunately, we went to IHOP for brunch.
Fortunately, the food was delicious.
Fortunately, the table next to us was very entertaining with three lovely and smiley children eating pancakes. This led my two children to reminisce about restaurant adventures when they were little. Fun.

Fortunately, when we got home the house was sparkling and clean-smelling.
Unfortunately, the dishwasher still didn’t work.
Fortunately, it was a beautiful day with lots of excuses for procrastinating. I went out to the garden to weed and meditate and gather my energy for washing a lot of dishes.
Unfortunately, the dishes were still there when I got back.

Fortunately, the kitchen was spotless.
Unfortunately, I own very few dish towels and dish clothes, since I rarely wash dishes by hand.
Fortunately, I had extra towels in the bathroom. I brought out two big shower towels because…
Unfortunately, my kitchen has no drainer rack for dishes and only has one sink. I set up the towels for air-drying because…
Fortunately, there was a beautiful breeze wafting through the kitchen.
Fortunately, I had just bought dishwashing liquid a few days earlier.
Unfortunately, it was the $1 cheap stuff on the sale shelf. It didn’t last long, and I had to drain and refill the sink repeatedly to maintain some semblance of suds.
Fortunately, I spent enough time in restaurants and food service earning money for college that I learned how to do dishes efficiently.
Unfortunately, it’s still my least favorite job.

Well, now the dishes are done and scattered on shower towels on our tiny kitchen’s limited counter space. But do you know what? It could be worse — it could be raining.