Category Archives: family life

>With a BOOM and a CRASH and a big FLASH…

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>Yes, I’ve been offline for a few days. On Wednesday night lightning hit in our backyard. Power didn’t go out, but phone service and internet access did. The phones are repaired, and the answering machine was fried, but the DSL that we use for Internet access is still out and we have no explanation. The service tech comes out to our house on Monday. For now, I have escaped the craziness of home for a little while with my ancient laptop to use the wireless network at a local eatery.

So…we all survived the storm, and the one the next night, too. I’ll be back — and tell more of our Dark and Stormy night — later.

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>No more excuses — I bought a bike!

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>It’s not fancy, but it’s solid. Husband and I went to The Man’s Mall (you midwesterners, you’ll know what I mean) and looked over the fall sale bicycles. Several were in our price range (cheap), so I tried them out for quality. And yes, I do mean I tried them out. The bikes were in an outside display area that had a lot of open space with only a few obstacles — a kayak or two, a stack of lumber here and there — so I rode the bike around before I bought it. The price was knocked down by $30, and Husband has been moaning about how his bike is wearing out, so (you knew this was coming) he bought one too! We now have “matching” his and hers bicycles. We were quite a sight, dragging these bikes around the store while we looked for the other things we needed. Fortunately, we had parked the minivan near the store exit, so it didn’t take much to get out and load up after checking out.

If you’re wondering, I didn’t buy a helmet yet. Yes, I plan to get one. I didn’t like the selection they had in stock. I have a small head (no comments from the peanut gallery, please), and I’d also like to get a helmet that will accomodate a ponytail. If it’s cute I’ll post a picture.

Now I can join Da Boys on their evening and weekend rides!

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>Shoulds are bogus: the sequel

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>The philosophical angle: a mix of serious and humorous

The dishwasher should be a luxury, not a necessity.
Reality: For a family with two working parents, it’s a need, not a want. Dishes are low on the totem pole of priorities.
End result: Despite the cost, we replaced the dishwasher this summer.

I should use the minivan less, for both financial and environmental reasons.
Reality: I use the city bus with El Grande occasionally, but I could walk more or ride a bike. I don’t have a bike – yet.
End result: I will buy myself a bike with the money I saved by ending my YMCA membership.

I shouldn’t drink so much coffee.
Reality: I drink too much coffee.
End result: I like it. Don’t sweat it. And my new coffeemaker has a programmable timer — fun!

I should have watched the entire Packer game last Saturday night.
Reality: It was in San Diego and started at 9:00 p.m. our time.
End result: I gave up and went to bed at halftime. Hey, it’s only the preseason.

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"Shoulds" are bogus

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Comparing the “should” with the reality and the end result

When one major appliance breaks down, nothing else should.
Reality: After the dishwasher died and I was getting grumpy about washing dishes, the cordless phone and the coffeemaker both quit. Of course, we just bought a pack of 200 coffee filters yesterday.
End result: I’m reading the sale ads. And the new coffeemaker has to take the same kind of filters.

Every family member should empty his or her pockets before putting clothes in the washing machine.
Reality: Husband sent his jeans through the wash with the cell phone in one pocket.
End result: It’s still sitting on the kitchen counter (near the nonworking dishwasher) drying out. Thank goodness he didn’t put the phone through the dryer, too!

When taking a car in for service, the mechanics should look it over thoroughly.
Reality: 5000 miles ago we took the car in. The computer couldn’t muster a code to tell them what to do. Despite our detailed description of the symptoms, they gave us the stock reply: “We can’t just throw parts at it!” Incidentally, when we called the dealer in the next big town, their customer service rep gave us the same line (“We can’t just throw parts at it!”) without even looking at the car.
End result: 5000 miles and several dangerous moments later, the computer finally gives them a code that leads the service folks to a likely repair.

I should be eating fresh tomatoes and other yummy veggies.
Reality: I planted the garden three weeks late, so everything will ripen later.
End result: I’ll be serving BLTs every day when school starts.

When the university sends out an email bill, the online site for payment should work.
Reality: The site was down for approximately three weeks.
End result: When the site finally came up, it was excruciatingly slow while every family that paid online tried to pay at the same time.

When I upload a digital picture to the computer, I should be able to find it again easily.
Reality: Pictures always seem to get saved somewhere random instead of in the file I thought I used as a destination.
End result: I grumble and use bad words when I’m searching for the pictures I just took!

Saying “should” is like saying “assume”; it just doesn’t jive with reality.
Thank you for listening to me rant; I feel better already.
Smile. (Or is that an evil grin?)

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>Sesame Street — the next generation

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>I was a little too old for the target demographic when Sesame Street started, but that didn’t stop me from watching it with my little brother. We fell in love with the characters, both human and Muppet. We giggled at the silliness between Ernie and Bert. And most of all, we sang the songs.
Somebody come and play
Somebody come and play today
Somebody come, and smile the smiles, and sing the songs, it won’t take long
Somebody come and play, today.

Most of my favorites were either written or arranged by Joe Raposo, the original composer and musical director for Sesame Street. He wrote, he arranged, and he borrowed songs to give Sesame its unique atmosphere. Ernie’s rendition of “Rubber Ducky” was classic. “Sing” (sing a song, sing out loud, sing out strong) originated in Sesame Street, and then the Carpenters’ recording reached #3 on the Billboard charts. Kermit and his “It’s not that easy being green” tugged on my heartstrings and still does.

When I introduced my children to Sesame Street, it was again the songs that held us. New standards such as “C is for Cookie” became part of family repertoire. We had a knack for improvising; did you ever try “V is for Vegetable, it’s good enough for me”? But our favorite then and now has a nonsense title and a simple tune: “Mahna Mahna”. I think it originated on The Muppet Show in the 1970s, and then made its way to the Street. “Mahna Mahna” still turns up in the back seat of the van when we’re stuck in traffic. It comes up randomly when someone says a word or phrase (i.e. banana nut; phenomena) that suggests it.

Consumer safety warning: singing is contagious. These songs may stick in your mind for a long, long time. Click at your own risk – enjoy!

Somebody come and play (original)
C is for Cookie
It’s not that easy being green (Kermit)
Somebody come and play (Ernie)
Mahna Mahna (from the Muppet Show)

For more on Sesame Street’s birthday, Look for The Lovely Mrs. Davis Tells you What to Think. She’ll link you to more bloggers who are talking about the Street (and the other memories we’ll share with our children) today!

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>Bye bye big bunny

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The Beast died today.

Here’s a happy memory picture — El Grande hugging Beast when we visited La Petite in her college dorm room. Despite his fearsome appearance and size, Beast was the most mellow, relaxed, even laziest animal you could ever imagine. He was our first bunny. He had developed some health problems in the last several months with loss of muscle tone due to kidney malfunction, among others. At age 10 (what’s that in rabbit years? don’t know exactly) he was getting to the end of his life expectancy, so when he could not move his legs this morning, it was a signal that he was at the end.

Beast was friendly as can be. He liked everyone, and everyone liked him. We used to bring him upstairs at bedtime to snuggle with El Grande. Beast could also shed like a trooper; we called it “Power Shedding.” If I’d kept track of the number of lint brushes we wore out over this bunny….

He would eat almost anything we put in front of him. In fact, he managed to eat big leaves from the garden broccoli plants today, even while ill. What a treat! We have home video of Beast as a baby bunny eating a wild carrot with long, long greens and inhaling it like spaghetti. Now Tiny, his little bitty friend, won’t have to gobble to get his fill. He can actually save some carrots for later! Tiny is lonely tonight, so he is living temporarily in El Grande’s room. We’ll make sure he gets lots of attention from the humans to help him adjust to his new status.

Beast was La Petite’s first pet; she did the research and built the first cage with her dad’s help. She loves rabbits and is a very caring pet owner. Beast always knew he was loved. She even handled the dirty work of cleaning Beast when his muscle tone got too weak to keep himself rabbit-immaculate.

Beast is buried in the wild section of our garden, close to his old friend Cora. The little marker has been repaired at least once since we buried the first one; maybe the glue will hold this time. 🙂

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>Breaking News — Orange Alert

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>Is it typical of our egocentric society that my first thoughts were for the effects of this news on my family? Among the swirling thoughts of relief that the plot was discovered and prevented, the inconveniences on international and domestic travel, and the economic effect on already-struggling airlines, my clearest and most immediate thoughts were for those closest to me.

We rarely fly. I’m grateful that La Petite flew to France two years ago, not two days ago. I’m grateful that Husband and El Grande took their flight (El Grande’s first!) a month ago, not today.

Since Husband works in the local media, this will have an immediate impact on him. The prez is coming to town to raise money for a local condidate, and Husband will be part of the crew that covers it. As if that weren’t enough, another crew or two or three will have to cover the local airports. Are there enough live trucks to go around? I remember 9/11/01 and how he worked close to 12 hours, interrupted only to wait in the panic line to fill his car with gas so he could get home that night.

El Grande slept late today, and when he got up I pointed him to CNN to find out what’s going on. He’s old enough to know, but his autism sometimes means that I may have to explain and put things in local perspective for him. Right now he’s watching and saying Wow. We talked, and I think he understands.

Yes, I guess it’s natural for a mom to think first of her family. Now that I’ve settled my mind on that count, I can begin to appreciate the global impact of the latest on the terrorism front. And like El Grande, I can only say Wow.

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>It could be worse, I guess

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>The saga of the dishwasher continues. I keep getting really down about it and other things that have gone wrong, but somehow I’m just not meant to be down for long. Something always seems to come up and remind me that it could be worse — could be raining.

I was dragging myself through washing dishes last night before bed and feeling exhausted, when I realized that I may be saving water. Our water bills may be going up (way up) in the next year or two or five, so anything that saves water is good.

The estimate from the appliance repair dude is for $281. Tonight we will windowshop for dishwashers to see if it’s worth our while to replace or if we should repair. Either way, it’s a big cost. But it could be worse — at least we have a choice.

I was about to wash dishes mid-day when La Petite got in the shower. Drat. I did the dishes after she finished and delegated the folding of laundry (towels and dish cloths, mainly) to her. I couldn’t really complain, although I wanted to. After all, she is home from college and able (and willing!) to chip in on housework and yardwork. I have time to wash dishes, whether I want to or not, because I teach in a public school district that hasn’t adopted year round school … yet. The timing could have been much worse — the dishwasher could have held on until school started, and broken down in September.

The Husband’s car needed repair. La Petite’s tuition, etc., is due, um, now. El Grande’s registration fees and the works are due tomorrow at the high school. But it could be worse! They successfully repaired the car this time. The tuition can be paid in installments. El Grande’s fees are a one-time deal; I’ll pay tomorrow and be done.

Drat. Just when I think I can get away with being crabby, I realize that we haven’t hit bottom quite yet. But really, people — all this and PMS, too? I give in: I’m CRANKY!

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>Dad’s knocking down a fence so Mom can play in the dirt!

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Compost happens. Naturally. If it can. If it has a decent balance of wet and dry (green and brown), a little moisture, and gets stirred now and then. My poor compost bin was drying out because its lid kept falling off. One rickety section of a backyard fence was leaning on it, and leaning hard.

There used to be three sections of fence. The first two fell in a storm, so we asked the property owners next door if we could take the fence down for safety’s sake. They said sure, of course! Thanks for helping out. We put the old boards to use as stepping “stones” in the garden.

That was 9 years ago. Since then, the friendly neighbor tree grew, and grew, and grew until it pushed what was left of the fence aside and into my bin. Well, moving a full compost bin is not in the realm of easy possibilities. So finally, I grabbed a hammer and Husband grabbed an ax and we went outside to be destructive. Now we have more boards for stepping “stones” and a much happier composting mama. The balance of wet and dry (green and brown) is maintained, the moisture stays moist, and I can take off the lid and stir it with a pitchfork once in a while — and replace the lid when I’m done. 🙂

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>It’s all in your Point of View

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>We attended a minor league baseball game last night, courtesy of our local car dealership. They paid for general admission tickets and a picnic supper before the game. An experience like this with a blind/Aspergers child is fun, but a little different.

The conversation:
Mom: Let’s find a place to sit on the grass and eat our hot dogs.
El Grande: No, I don’t know how! I don’t know how to eat sitting on the ground!
Mom: We’ll help you figure it out. Would you like a Mt. Dew to drink?
Dad: I’ll go get a blanket from the car; you two find a place.

Reading between the lines, or the interpretation.
Mom: Let’s settle down soon.
El Grande: Oh, no! I’ve never done this before! I might spill if I can’t see my food! It’s too crowded and loud to concentrate and learn something new! I hope I don’t have a melt-down.
Mom: Oh, no, I’d better help him stay calm. I hope he doesn’t have a melt-down.
Dad: I’d better go get something to help smooth this situation. I hope he doesn’t have a melt-down.

the next installment:
Mom: Here’s your hot dog.
El Grande: What can I use for a plate?
Mom: I’ll give you the foil wrap to put on your lap.
El Grande: Okay. What did you get me to drink?
Mom: Dew. Do you want me to open it?
El Grande: No. I can do it myself.

Reading between the lines:
Mom: Here’s your hot dog. Oh, I hope this works.
El Grande: What if I drop it? I’ve never done this before without a table.
Mom: Maybe this will reassure him.
El Grande: Okay, this is a little more like normal.
Mom: He’s settling a little. Maybe I can help…
El Grande: I’m settling a little. I can open the can myself now.

The next installment:
Dad: Here’s a blanket. Scoot over.
El Grande: Okay. Dad, do you want chips?
Mom: This is a blanket that it’s okay to spill on.
Dad: Yeah, it’s the one from my trunk.
El Grande: Yeah, this is more comfortable.
Dad: We’re sitting right next to a new convertible model.
El Grande: Cool! Can I have another hot dog?

The interpretation:
Dad: I hope everything’s okay and I’m not too late.
El Grande: I fell better now that I’m eating. Eating is normal.
Mom: I know he panics if he spills. I’ll remind him that spilling isn’t a catastrophe.
Dad: He panics if he spills in public.
El Grande: Yum. I wonder if they’ll let me have another hot dog?
Dad: Let’s change the subject. I’ll distract him.
El Grande: Everything’s fine now. Can’t you two stop worrying?

Yes, parenting is different when the child can’t see and has autism. Sometimes his high-level functioning causes us to forget that he still fears certain unknowns, especially those that could end up in “disaster” like spilling in public.
The baseball game ended up being fun. We had general admission seats on a grassy hill, so we stretched out on the blankets to watch the game and the other fans. El Grande knows all the cheers that go with the stadium music, so the younger kids were awed by him and the other grown-ups smiled and joined in. We caught a souvenir ball, one of the many goodies they toss to the crowd. (Last summer I caught a t-shirt.) The team lost (14-4, ouch!), but the post-game fireworks were great. And I must admit, we enjoyed the popcorn and beer, too.

It’s all in a day’s work for parents. When the child is disabled, it raises the bar a bit, but it all works out in the end. Take me out to the ball game!

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