>Mother’s Day Blog Blast — a party without the scary clowns

>What makes a mom? Or a dad? What makes a parent? That’s the topic posed by the Parent Bloggers Network and Light Iris today.
The easy answer is this: It’s different for everyone.
The personal answer is: It’s different every day.

You know you’re a mom when:

  • You take the child’s fancy bike to a fancy bike shop for a safety tune-up, and he announces loudly that you bought your own bicycle at (gulp) Fleet Farm.
  • You take your personal day from work to drive five hours, round trip, to pick up your college student’s aquarium and fish. That’s fish, singular. Not plural. (and please note: I enjoyed the entire drive and visit!)
  • You spend the day with a group of youngsters at your daughter’s high school and marvel at the idea that she’s no longer there: she graduated two years ago.
  • You exchange worries with another mom while secretly thinking, “Wow! I don’t worry as much as she does!”
  • You call home to leave a message that you’re stuck behind a train and will be home any minute, just in case your disabled child’s bus gets home before you do.
  • You learn to text message, email, and use IMs — and you’re a Baby Boomer
  • You don’t worry if your computer crashes; the kids will be home soon.
  • You actually like fruit snacks and yo-gos

You know you’re a parent when you come to enjoy and look for the little contrasts in life. For example:

  • the 9 year old shopping for Beanie Babies and bras
  • the 15 year old with the rapidly deepening voice, who snuggles the cat he made himself at build-a-Bear workshop
  • the 20 year old who types out a three page list of instructions for fish care, but forgets to send the fish food home with you
  • the kid who moans and groans about how you make him work too hard, but then labels you as “nice” in his Spanish report on his family

What makes you a mom? A dad? A parent? Too many variables play into this. I’ll just tell you this: you’ll know. Trust me, you’ll know.

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>I Eat Pizza

>That’s what Amigo used to call his IEP meetings. In reality, it stands for Individualized Education Plan. I had mixed feelings before, during, and after the meeting. There were good points, the best of which was Amigo’s participation, but the process was still stressful.
I am lucky that I speak the lingo. Teachers tend to talk in initials, and those initials don’t always make sense to people outside the field. DVR, for example, in this case meant Dept. of Vocational Rehabilitation, while Husband knows DVR as Digital Video Recorder. Luckily, he is comfortable saying, “Translate, please.” The OT/PT consult, VI staff, and LEA, not to mention the S/L referral, O&M, Aut, SPE (formerly APE) and SLD cross-categorical, all combine to make it sound like a foreign language, when it’s really just another set of technical lingo.
Now that the meeting is over, my neck is less sore, my head doesn’t ache quite as much, and I feel a little less stressed — until we reconvene in two weeks. Oh, my, pour me a gin and tonic just to cope with thinking about it. Bleah.
As long as we’re not dealing with the PSL.

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>Backyard surprises and muffins, too

>The first spring in our home, eleven years ago, we discovered all kinds of fun things growing. We’d moved in late enough in the fall that everything except the grass was brown, and nothing was blooming. We enjoyed the show as daffodils, tulips, daylilies, and even a beautiful bleeding heart bush made their appearances on the stage. Tucked into the backyard next to the garage we found rhubarb.
I had never cooked or baked with rhubarb before, so I decided I’d better learn. This one’s tried and true, a regular product of my tiny kitchen.

Backyard Rhubarb Muffins

1 cup all-purpose flour
½ cups whole wheat flour
¾ cup brown sugar, packed
¾ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
1/4 cup applesauce or 1/3 cup canola or vegetable oil
1 large egg or ¼ cup egg substitute
½ cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup fresh rhubarb, cut in ½ inch dice
Topping:
1/8 cup brown sugar, packed
1/8 cup chopped walnuts
¼ teaspoon cinnamon

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Coat 12 muffin cups with non-stick spray. In a mixing bowl, combine the flour, brown sugar, baking soda, and salt.
Make a hole in the center of the dry ingredients and add the oil (applesauce), egg, buttermilk, and vanilla. Mix just until dry ingredients are moistened. Fold in the rhubarb. Scoop batter into the muffin cups.
Topping; Combine the brown sugar, walnuts, and cinnamon. Sprinkle mixture over the tops of the muffins, dividing equally.

Bake for 20 to 23 minutes or just until a toothpick inserted into a muffin comes out clean and dry. Remove from oven and cool on rack. Makes twelve muffins.
Alternate topping: After cooling, drizzle with a simple powdered sugar icing.

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>supermom can rest for a few minutes now

>Last week was an incredibly busy one. My calendar was so full the dates ran off into the wilderness to escape. Oh, wait, that was me.
Monday: meeting with school nurse to go over meds for camping trip; react and grieve for those at Virgina Tech
Tuesday: Public Health training (Oh, my, stock up on the bottled water and canned food!)
Wednesday: Off to camp
Thursday: Still gone to camp
Friday: Home from camp, start post-camp paperwork, retrieve over 150 emails at work
Saturday: early morning phone call from La Petite, camping out at the local Love Sac store’s grand opening; suffer through a forty-five minute power outage mid-morning
Sunday: go to school (with Amigo’s help) and begin catching up on regular classroom planning and paperwork
Each of these could probably rate its own post. I’ll work on Saturday’s event first.
Our local mall was recently graced with the presence of a Love Sac store. I read the newspaper blurb aloud because Amigo loves his simple vinyl bean bag chairs. La Petite was home for the weekend and got all excited, calling out to her boyfriend in the other room, “Honey, we’re getting a Love Sac!” Huh? It seems he adores the store and its product line. He was one of the first in line when the store opened its doors, and therefore found out about the megasale coming up. The first 100 people in line on the magic day would receive a sizable discount of at least 50% off on their purchases.
To make a long story (including midnight breakfast at IHOP, a big crowd, and a lonely nervous security guard calling for backup) they joined a few friends and lined up in the mall parking lot at about 4:00 AM. She called us at 6:00 to say, “Hey! I’ve got an 87% discount! Can you come get me in an hour in the van?” Husband headed out that way in my minivan and met her at the mall. Unfortunately, she didn’t get into the store itself until 9:30 because they were only letting a few people into the small store at a time. Fortunately, the two of them shopped with her discount and picked up over $1000 worth of fabulous furniture for around $300.
Yes, they came home and slept. Meanwhile, Amigo fluffed our PillowSac and sat on the rocker frame for the entire Brewers-Astros game. Rock on, kiddo, and go Brewers, too!

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>This strange new world goes to college

>It’s a roller coaster of emotions.
Grief for those at Virginia Tech, the dead, the injured, and their families and friends.
Relief that the shooting wasn’t at my own child’s campus.
Guilt for feeling relief when others are suffering.
Gratitude toward those officers who responded.
Worry — what if the violence spreads?
Hope for healing — for all.

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>Save my Sanity, please.

>Sanity Savers: tips for women to live a balanced life by Dr. Dale Vicky Atkins, is the latest title on the BlogHer Virtual Book Tour. My usual books fall into the categories of escapist fiction, professional reading, and news/current events. Sanity Savers didn’t fit readily into these, but it still caught my attention. When the short preview mentioned the everpresent juggling act, I knew I had to read it.
Sanity Savers is written in a unique format with entries divided into days (five weekday entries plus a weekend) and subject headings that remind me of blog post labels. Readers can approach the book one day or week at a time or search for a particular heading of interest. Subjects include parent, friend, community, well-being, and more.
Most of her advice is concise, rational, and thoughtful. Some entries focus on specific and concrete events (moving with kids) and others are more general or abstract (going through sorrow, creating a peaceful workplace).
Skimming through the headings, I found a few entries on disabilities. Some spoke to the perspective of parenting a disabled child; one offered suggestions for dealing with disabled peers. None, however, spoke to the perspective of being a disabled adult woman. Dr. Atkins deals with so many angles; why not this one? I am a professional (a teacher), a mother, a wife, and hearing impaired. I know I’m not alone as a self-sufficient disabled adult, and I do buy books — lots of books.
Sanity Savers has valuable advice and a positive outlook on life. I hope that Dr. Atkins will consider addressing the lack of disabled and capable adults in future books.

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>April Showers

>

Both Photos are courtesy of Husband’s trip outside in his winter coat in the middle of the, um, storm. We’re expecting up to six inches — maybe. I’m not expecting a snow day tomorrow. Darn. But we’re stocking up on bunny food just in case.

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>It’s spring…Maybe

>Outside Temperature: 30 degrees
Precipitation: none falling at the moment, but there are still big patches of white on the ground from this morning’s snow shower.
Outlook: cold
Easter forecast? Tie the bonnet tightly; you’ll need the warmth. Leave the lace gloves at home; you’ll want wool.
Real life forecast? Spring break comes to an end. La Petite goes back to the University tomorrow afternoon. I go back to school on Monday for a staff development day full of meetings and trainings. Amigo’s classes start Tuesday.

Futurecast: Stress.

These transitions are tougher than they used to be, so I made a conscious effort to have a true mental health break. I made just one trip to school to put up a showcase for Autism Awareness Month. I did not check my school email from home. I just took out my schoolbag today and corrected a stack of papers; I’ll do a few more (stacks) tomorrow. I’ll be ready for Monday and the return of the kids on Tuesday. Hopefully, this gradual return to the world of school will let me slide back into the routine without tension headaches and stomachaches, or at least with fewer side-effects.
We’ve had a good break, Amigo and I. He helped me put up the showcase, take blankets to the laundromat, vacate the house when the cleaning crew came, and bring all three bunnies to the vet for a nail-clipping party. Er, appointment. I look forward to summer when we can Field Trip some more.
But all too soon, it’s back to routine.
I have ten weeks of school left. But who’s counting?

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>An open letter to Oprah and her producers

>Dear Oprah and colleagues;
Thank you for making a contribution to Autism Awareness Month by featuring families of autistic children on your show on Thursday. An hour show has only a little time, and yours opened the window on autism for many viewers.
However, I have some concerns.
I am a mother of a teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome, a diagnosis on the high end of the autism spectrum. I am also the cousin of a more severely autistic adult. And I fill yet another role: that of classroom teacher who has taught several students on the spectrum. Based on my life experiences, both personal and professional, I saw some major holes in the production.

  • The opening was definitely produced with the goal of tear-jerker rather than presenting facts. Facts and concepts can provide dramatic television while providing the audience with knowledge that leads to comprehension.
  • Background knowledge, including your own, seemed to only scratch the surface.
  • Guests and experts were primarily from the Chicago area, and therefore the group was limited in scope.
  • The show didn’t talk about or feature a range of people on the spectrum.
  • Featured guests were parents, not older adults or teens with autism.

As we say in public education, perception is reality. Your show guides perception for many millions of people in the United States. Please consider the points above for future productions. With your opportunities for educating the public, you can expand the perception of autism to include much more reality.

On behalf of many parents, teachers, and people with autism, thank you for your time.

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