Dear candidates: remember what you learned in grammar school? A double negative isn’t effective in American English. Well, politicians, when I hear negative from both sides of a race, I tend to discount both reports.
Special interest groups ans PACs, this means you, too. The negative ads ain’t got no purpose or meaning to them, ya know what I mean?
Dear clerks and poll folks; we appreciate you. I don’t think you hear that enough. I know that many, many voters are stopping by at the city clerk’s office to vote early. You are crazy busy, and that’s a good sign. This is what democracy looks like.
Dear bake sale donors; I might arrive later in the day this time. Please save some goodies for me! I hear cookies calling my name.
Dear voters: A woman voting for Scott Walker is like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders. Or maybe it’s a frog voting for Doc Hopper. Remember Kermit the frog feeling devastated at the thought of all those little frogs on crutches? Never mind.
Dear 24/7 news outlets (you know who you are); doing a special all about Ebola Panic increases the panic. Got that? Stick to the facts, people, just the facts.
Dear farmers; do you really support the governor enough to put up several huge signs? It’s rather misleading. Drivers going down the rural highways may think the gov has a lot of supporters, when it’s really just one farmer with one vote.
Dear lawmakers; the concealed carry law actually made it harder for police officers to wear their weapons in a school, even if they are liaison officers there. Local school districts had to renegotiate with law enforcement to allow their police school liaisons to do their job.
Dear candidates; stay classy. I mean, get up and take the high road. This negativity hurts everyone. Let’s get Wisconsin out of the mud and make it a great state again.