>Last year at this time, Amigo’s room was a mess and it wasn’t his fault. His closet had erupted, spewing old clothes and new clothes and toys and books and shoes and everything imaginable onto his floor. We called it the Night the Closet Vomited.
He had an old-fashioned closet — long shelf at the top, with a long pole underneath for hanging. Since Amigo is Joe Casual and owns few hanging clothes, all of the out-of-season coats and rarely-worn items ended up stored in his room. The shelf was loaded with games, toys, and Braille books. Last January, the closet pole decided it had had enough, and pulled itself out of the wall. The shelf followed.
Of course, this happened in the middle of the night. It was loud enough to wake me from a sound sleep (with my hearing aids out!) and scare the heck out of the rest of us. Husband saw the terrified rabbit run for shelter under the china cabinet, leaving a scent trail all the way. Did you know that rabbits, um, exude a certain flatulence when they’re scared? They do. Husband then ran into Amigo’s room, saw what had happened, probably swore, then comforted Amigo so he could fall back to sleep. Peanut remained under the china cabinet.
We gradually cleaned out the mess. The poor kid was tiptoeing around fallen detritus for months. I’m not kidding, it took us months to get it all stored properly or thrown out or set aside. Husband repainted the back wall of the closet, installed a stronger brace for future shelves, and re-built the whole thing in a more updated, practical style. I think he finished in May.
Perhaps I exaggerate, but not much. The rabbit came out from under the china cabinet eventually. We were so overloaded with life in general that we didn’t even get upset about this relatively minor disaster.
The Night the Closet Vomited is part of our family lore. At least it didn’t run a fever.
>Who is this Morton guy, and why do I have his neuroma?
>I finally gave up the denial, admitted that my foot pain was getting worse and wasn’t going to go away, and visited our family doctor. She ordered an x-ray to make sure nothing was broken, but the symptoms and the location of the pain had pretty much given it away already. The x-ray, as suspected, showed nothing more than the tiny little screw from the bunion-fixer-upper seven years ago.
I see the podiatrist in ten days. The family doc predicts that I may be facing another surgery — the third on this foot.
Well, to look on the bright side, it’s my left foot. I can still drive. Both of our vehicles have automatic transmissions. Since Clutch + bad left foot = slow healing and more pain, the trade-in of my stick-shift Saturn SL2 was inevitable after my first surgery. Sniff. Sigh.
I hope that the foot doc will be able to handle this through less invasive means, but I won’t count on it. With my luck, she’ll want to operate sooner rather than later.
Hmmm…maybe I’ll need new shoes. Darn.
>Every story, new or ancient
>This one is ancient. I tell it to my classes or to my peer mediators and ask for their interpretation. Pull up a carpet square or a floor pillow, listen closely, and think. Share with your tweens.
The Gossip
A long, long time ago, a young man set a goal for improving himself. We call them New Year’s resolutions, but way back then he simply called it a goal. He wanted to stop being a gossip. And since he wasn’t going to gossip any more, he thought he’d find a way to make amends for the gossip he had spread in his past.
The young man went to the rabbi because he was the wisest man in town. The rabbi’s advice was valued and trusted. He asked the rabbi, “How can I make it up to the people about whom I’ve gossiped? I want to fix everything.”
The rabbi told him, “Go get a chicken from the butcher. Bring it to me. On the way, pluck all the feathers from the chicken so that it’s ready to cook when you get here.”
Now, back in the time of this story, the butcher wasn’t a clean glass counter at the Piggly Wiggly. The chickens didn’t come in a nice shrink-wrapped package. The butcher himself went out back, grabbed a chicken, wrung its neck, and then handed over the carcass, feathers and all. And his shop was on the opposite end of town from the rabbi’s home, so the young man had quite a way to go before he delivered his poultry to the rabbi’s stove. To save time, he plucked the feathers as he walked briskly across the town.
The young man arrived at the rabbi’s home. “Here it is,” he panted. “It looks like a good one. And I plucked every last feather. Have I made amends? Have I fixed the damage done by my past gossip?”
“Thank you,” the rabbi replied. “To fix the damage done by your past gossip, you now need to find all of the feathers from this chicken and put them together again.”
“But…but…I can’t do that! They are all over town! They have flown to the winds! It would be impossible to gather them all again!” the young man sputtered.
“Ah, and so it is with gossip. Once released, it flies to the winds. It spreads all over town. It is impossible to make amends. To truly stop gossip from hurting, you must not spread it to begin with.”
>Snowy days and Mondays
>Omens that foretell a challenging week ahead:
- the entire class talks through the announcement about “snow rules” on the playground
- the special ed teacher for emotional/behaviorally challenged students is off to a training seminar
- the school counselor is off to the same training seminar
- the school principal is also off to the same training seminar
- Little Jenny comes up and says, “I’m so tired I could fall asleep at my desk.”
- Little Johnny has a note from his mom proclaiming that he didn’t get any help with his math
- the class quiets down briefly to listen to the new read-aloud book by an award-winning author, long enough to hear dialogue that includes the word “Hell”
- two students are absent: a different two from those that were absent last Friday
- at least four teachers are out sick
- the sub who “didn’t help” little Johnny with his math confirms that the kid lied through his teeth
- the undiagnosed ADHD child keeps interrupting
- his diagnosed but unmedicated friend joins in
- Later on, little Jenny points out, “I’m still yawning all the time!”
- the class seems to be having a squeaking contest in the hall with their wet boots after lunch recess
- Little Johnny announces that he didn’t “get it” the first time fractions were taught, either.
- Georgie Porgie gets in trouble for throwing snowballs at recess, and then wonders why I hounded him to listen to announcements.
- Behaviorally challenged child tries to leave science class three times to use the bathroom. I let him go once, stop him twice, and hope he doesn’t really need it again.
- Little Jenny again shares, “I think I’m going to fall asleep.”
- I say, “I’ll wake you when the bell rings.”
- She replies,”Good luck. I’m a sound sleeper.”
So am I. Good night! It’s been a long week already, and tomorrow’s only Tuesday.
>Go team go! But which team?
>Regular readers know that I live and breathe Packer Green and Gold. My teenage son wears the colors with pride and knows all the NFL stadium names by memory (watch out Jeopardy), my daughter can stump her college friends (male or female) with her knowledge of the game, and Husband sometimes works Sundays to get away from the frenzy at home. What to do when the home team doesn’t make the playoffs? For whom do we cheer? How can a family like ours choose a team that doesn’t have our favorite 3-time MVP at the the helm?
Our “logic” works like this.
We could cheer for the NFC team nearest ours, the one that won the division title, even though our Packers beat the heck out of them in the final game of the season (sorry, Bear fans, I couldn’t resist).
We could choose an AFC team that boasts another talented quarterback from the south who does priceless commercials. (“D-Caf! –boom, boom– D-Caf!”) And the Colts’ coach, Tony Dungy, has gone through a lot of private suffering in a very public arena, maintaining his dignity and class the whole time.
Then there’s the “storied past” angle. Mike Holmgren, currently of the Seattle Seahawks, coached the Pack to their last Super Bowl win ten years ago, uniting the entire extended community of Green Bay in the celebration.
But what about the New Orleans Saints? They were hit hard when hurricane Katrina devastated the Gulf Coast and trashed their home dome. Haven’t they earned the respect and admiration of fans across the country with their amazing comeback?
La Petite found a solution. Click here, and NFL.com will analyze your preferences and assign you a surrogate team.
Enjoy! And trust me, fellow cheeseheads; the Pack will be Back.
>Help put some fun into fundraising
De-lurking week is sponsored by Sheryl of Paper Napkin. She provided several buttons we can display; I posted the one I liked best.
>Bunny Love
>200!! Woo-hoo!
>Yes, this is my two-hundredth blog post!! The family celebrated, too. The rabbits? They just napped. Full report at 10. I mean — pictures tomorrow. Now if I can get down off this block without tripping on the rubber chicken….
In case you’ve never been introduced to my lovely family, Husband and I (from left to right) are on top of the box, and Amigo and La Petite (from left to right) are on the floor. I mean, they’re in the foreground. My thanks to La Petite and Husband for helping set up and photograph the “party”. Amazing how they did that without opposable thumbs!
>No Flarping during Jeopardy!
>It was a gift from the bus driver. It looked innocent: a small plastic container with a putty-like substance inside. Then we found out what it, um, did. With a finger or thumb inside, yanked out with a certain technique, Flarp makes (gulp) a farting noise.
Like a good big sister, La Petite showed her brother a few tips for making the noises more, uh, authentic. He practiced (practiced!) and they giggled and laughed and roared as the ‘quality’ of his Flarpiness improved.
I wasn’t so thrilled.
It seemed like whenever it was most irritating, Flarp made its presence known. Not constantly, but as if on cue, just often enough.
If I tried to read a book: Pbbth.
If I put up my feet in the recliner and relax: Pbxzth.
Whenever I finished a goal and took a break: Ppbbthxxb.
When the caffeine was low, and my eyes began to close: Ppbbththxxxbbpbth.
AARGH!!!
Eventually, I stashed it somewhere that Amigo could find it, but wouldn’t think of it very often. After that, he spent more time with his other gifts and the new bunny in the house.
Until my brother came to visit, and the kids taught him to Flarp, too. Darn musician; he has a talent for making the most, er, unique sounds possible. Do you think I’d stay on speaking terms with my sister-in-law if I sent the jar of Flarp home with him?
>Still Plays with Toys
>Tiny the rabbit actually plays with toys. while other bunnies will snuggle the humans, chew on firewood, and chase each other around the den, Tiny makes sure this truck (an old metal toy that’s rather heavy for a tiny one) gets the tow it needs.
“A little push, and you’re back on the road. What ‘cha hauling, buddy? Carrots?”
