>I am not making this up.

>Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Common sense, like common courtesy, isn’t always common. Some folks seem to need basic safety sense written out for them in the form of basic warnings. “Do not use this hairdryer in the bathtub or shower.” “Professional driver; do not attempt.” And there’s the classic line, “I am a professional. Do not try this at home.” The organization Sick of Lawsuits has asked Parent Blogging Network to collect some of the most ridiculous warning labels in existence.

Last spring my daughter spent a long, cold night waiting for a good place in line at the grand opening of the local Love Sac store. She got (are you ready for this?) an 87% discount. She was kind enough to get a few things for the family with her discount, so we picked up the classic square PillowSac and its Rocker. This is the warning tag on The Rocker.

Warning:
Improper use of this product may result in injury or death.
Do not jump on The Rocker projecting oneself through open space that is inherently dangerous and may cause injury or death.
Do not allow your children to play unattended on The Rocker — better yet,
do not allow your children to play unattended at all.
Do not put any part of your body, including your entire body, underneath
The Rocker, especially when The Rocker is rocking. May result in injury or
death.
Do not eat The Rocker or anything included with The Rocker, including, but
not limited to, nuts, b0lts, tags, cardboard, packaging, plastic bags, plastic
pieces, styrofoam, unpopped popcorn kernels, etc. Attempting to eat these
things may result in injury, death, or at the very least, discomfort while
passing these items through your digestive system from entry to exit.
Do not stand on The Rocker as this may result in injury or death.
Keep The Rocker away from heaters, burning cigarettes, or any open flame. May result in injury, death, or destruction.

(Hmmm. It doesn’t say anything about rabbits….)

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15 thoughts on “>I am not making this up.

  1. >that is an awesome warning label, I especially love the parenting advice and the bit about digestive discomfort. Hooray for companies with a sense of humor!

  2. >I can’t imaging eating the rocker would cause such distress..how silly of me.

    projecting myself through the air sounds fun.

    What happens is you “taunt” the rocker?

  3. >Wow, I don’t think they left anything out! They took the C.Y.A. attitude to the full extent.

    Watch out bunny, that rocker is dangerous! 🙂

  4. >See, now that’s the kind of warning label I’d like to see. It clearly is ridiculing the need for warning labels while also serving as a warning label. I want to hire that label writer to pen my blog from now on.

  5. Pingback: Writer’s Block? Not me. | Compost Happens

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