>Quality Time in the new millennium

>I read a post over at BlogHer today that made a lot of sense. In it, Mir (one of my favorite bloggers) talked about balancing her needs with her children’s needs while not neglecting the kids. Da boys’ trip last week sounds like a great example. El Grande tagged along while his dad picked up a new company vehicle and drove it from Florida home to Wisconsin.

El Grande thought the plane ride was the height of luxury, even though they flew coach/business class. The novelty was in the details. Being served a snack and drinks, having individual headphones to choose from the in-flight radio, and being able to use the airplane bathroom on his own all added up to a fun time in his book, which translates to “luxury” for a 14-year-old.

There were moments, such as getting stuck in traffic around Orlando, that slowed them down and could have been real downers. But somehow, the two of them turned them into part of the story, the lore of the trip.

El Grande, with his love of accents, told us of meeting up with an Australian in the elevator of the hotel in Tennessee. He told us how he and Dad bought and shared a box of their favorite Mike & Ikes, but half the box melted in the truck. He counted how many truckers honked the horn when he waved (trip total, 23) and how he swam in hotel pools and at the beach on the Gulf. He listened to country music, his favorite, through parts of Tennessee and Kentucky.

Husband was glad to have him along, even with the extra cost and occasional hassle. El Grande kept him company for the four day drive and even navigated, in the form of reading his Braille copy of the itinerary. They talked now and then about this and that, philosophical and trivial and just everyday things.

They didn’t do many “tourist” type things. It was for the most part just a long, long drive. But the two of them most definitely enjoyed their time together, which is all anyone can ask. Fancy vacation? No. Quality time? You bet.

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>What else could I forget? No, don’t answer that…

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Five Ways to mess up taking the child to camp:

-forget to send in his health paperwork
-take a different highway
-get there too early
-forget his pillow
-(accidentally on purpose) forget his talking watch
We did all this and more, but El Grande arrived at camp happy, excited, and ready to run the place.
The camp called last week and reminded me to send his paperwork. I thought, “Gee, we usually do those things ASAP so we don’t forget.” Then I remembered what our lives were like in spring when these papers came, and thought “no surprise”. I pulled up the form they’d sent by email a few months ago, filled it out, and mailed it. Done.
We have two potential routes to get there — the new highway and the old highway. We took the old one, the scenic route. Why? I don’t know. Old habit, maybe. The blind child, of course, doesn’t see enough to enjoy the scenic (slower) route, so that wasn’t a good idea.
Despite the scenic (slower) route AND stopping for lunch on the way, when we got there and gave the gatekeeper his name, she said, “Oh, you’re scheduled to register an hour from now.” Oops. I guess that paper got lost in the shuffle, too. G is fairly near the beginning of the alphabet, so we thought for sure El Grande would be registering with the first group. But lucky us; the lines were so short that they let us come in and get started right away. (Of course, they didn’t let us in until after making a big deal about how we could “wait in the car” or “hang out in the camp store” until his official time. They must be trained to apply guilt trips to any parents who dare arrive early.)
Ironically, on the way there The Husband had whispered to me, “Are you sure we have the right date?” Yes, even though we had no idea what time to arrive.
So then…I set a suitcase by the check-in and realized that we had forgotten to bring pillows. I whispered such to Husband, and we nodded silently that we’d think of a solution, not letting El Grande hear. Husband then whispered to me that I’d forgot to bring the talking watch.
A-ha!! At last something we did absolutely right. I left the watch at home on purpose in memory of the summer that he ruined two watches at two different camps by dunking them under water.
Amidst these semi-catastrophic (to us) events, El Grande grabbed his white cane and proceeded to lead us around the main camp buildings, greet several staffers by name, inform anyone who asked that this was his seventh year attending, congratulate his favorite counselor on being promoted to unit director, and hug the camp director, who told him to stop growing because he’s now at least three inches taller than she is.
In case you’re wondering, the cabins always have extra pillows to accommodate kids with parents like us (sans guilt trip this time). El Grande didn’t even realize we’d forgotten them.

We’re not always forgetful. We’ve just lost our rational minds somewhere in the last several months and we’re still looking for them. Maybe they’re underwater…or in the stack of papers with the registration times listed….

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>The Girls set goals

>While Da Boys were gone, La Petite and I set a goal: to avoid cooking as long as possible. Many of you can identify, I’m sure — only two of us at home, laid back atmosphere, no schedule to keep, yadayadayada…Here’s our progress report.
Tuesday: Dropped off the boys at the airport. Breakfast was toast and coffee, lunch leftovers, and for an early supper we went to the chicken wing place because it was Tuesday, and wings were cheap. Mmmm. I could be talked into doing that again.
Wednesday: bkfst simple, ran errands all morning, lunch: tried out the new sub sandwich. Again, Mmmm. We shared a twelve inch because it was cheaper than buying 2 six inchers. So far, not only are we avoiding cooking, we’re also finding bargains! I can live with that. Supper? good thing we had all kinds of leftovers in the fridge.
Thursday: Bkfst and lunch similar to Tuesday. Early supper at the bagel shop. Bought a half dozen to tide us over for the next few days’ breakfasts and maybe even lunches.
Friday: does it count if I made tuna salad? The tuna salad sandwich at the sub shop was so good we wanted to make them at home. It took no microwave or stove action, just draining the tuna and adding a few goodies and a scoop of mayo, so it isn’t really cooking. With a scoop on a slice of white flaxseed bread (from the Amish baker at the farmers’ market), we have a delicious sandwich — while still keeping to our goal.
Saturday: finished off the bagels. Picked up Da Boys at the end of their trip. Drive-throughs are useful (in moderation), so one more time we avoided cooking.

Success! I wonder what our goals will be next time the boys are away?

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>Amigo plays baseball

>It’s a typical summer evening, and we’re headed to a Little League baseball game. But this one isn’t typical Little League; it’s a Challenger League game, and all of the players have disabilities.

Disabilities range from vision or hearing impairments to cognitive disabilities (such as Down’s syndrome) to children in wheelchairs for a variety of reasons. Some can walk but not run. Some can throw a ball but not catch it. Some can hit a slowly pitched ball, and some need to use a tee. A few need their parents to help them bat because their coordination and muscle tone is very weak. Somehow, some way, each child on these two teams will hit the ball and round the bases. No one worries about labels or diagnoses; they just play.

The understanding of the game varies, too. Some team members know the game well and follow Major League Baseball or the local Minor League team. A few compete in Special Olympics. Some have limited understanding, but gosh, they put a total effort into their play. One boy knows that the infielders often tag runners, but he doesn’t fully understand why or even know he needs to tag them with the ball, so he tags every runner that runs, walks, or wheels past him. “Tag, you’re it!” One player will run after the ball whenever it comes near him – even if he’s up to bat. One girl likes to stop half way between bases to clap her hands and say, “Yay!” One thing is certain; No one strikes out. Every player “scores”. The last batter in each line-up gets a home run to make sure each child crosses home plate. And yes, the crowd of parents, grandparents, and siblings, cheers wildly for every run.

A local sponsor made sure the path to the field was paved to accommodate wheelchairs. Both teams wear official Little League uniform shirts and caps because local sponsors know how important it is to be outfitted properly.

The rules of the game might be modified, but the sights and sounds are the same as any childhood baseball game. The crack of the bat, the running feet, the cheering from the field and the bleachers, the smell of sweat, the dusty shoes, are all there. And the grins — the players are all grinning through the entire game. These kids love to play, and it shows.

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>To-Do list for a Hot, Lazy Day

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  • Sleep in.
  • Still in pajamas, feed bunnies.
  • Start coffee.
  • Eat breakfast (nothing fancy, of course).
  • Watch morning news (zone out over irrelevant stories) and drink coffee.
  • Turn on air conditioning.
  • Let dishwasher wash dishes.
  • Read favorite blogs.
  • Read book.
  • Shower. Finally set aside pajamas and get dressed in casual, lazy clothes.
  • Heat leftovers for lunch, avoiding cooking.
  • Bring minivan to full service car wash to let other people wash it.
  • Stop at bookstore and buy bag full of fiction books for future hot, lazy days.
  • Read book.
  • Take nap.
  • Take daughter to bagel shop for early light supper, avoiding cooking once again.
  • Answer text messages from traveling husband and son.
  • Attend study group meeting.
  • Okay, it wasn’t all lazy. I did read the assignment for our study group and write up the accountability paperwork so we get credit for it.
  • Stop at the store to buy toilet paper (some things just can’t be put off).
  • Come home, contemplate pajamas again, water plants, pick up book and zone out on Weather Channel until bedtime.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

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>parenting and paranoia

>The night before Da Boys left for their “business” trip, Husband sat down with a serious look on his face.
“You might think I’m paranoid when I suggest this.”
“Um, suggest what?”
“I was thinking about taking a digital picture of El Grande and me in the morning before we leave to have in our luggage.”
“Sure. Why?”
“Well, I think if we get separated, then I’ll have a picture of him and what he’s wearing that day. You know, I never know what anyone is wearing.”
“Right.”
“And since he can’t see, he won’t be able to describe me at all.”
“Right.”
“So, am I paranoid?”
“Dear, when you’re a parent, there is no such thing as too paranoid.”
“Okay. So, you’ll take our picture tomorrow.”
“No problem.”

No problem — except the camera strap kept falling in front of the camera when I was taking the picture, so we had to take four before it worked. Yikes! And we added Dad’s cell phone number to the picture in El Grande’s luggage.

Smile for the camera — strap, that is!

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