Dear world —

Dear driver of dented black pick-up truck;

Your bumper stickers do not inspire confidence. When I see “9/11 was an inside job” next to “I Stand With Scott Walker” I wonder…oh, I just wonder.

  • Sincerely, An educated and informed voter. You wouldn’t understand.

Dear Pittsburgh Steelers;

Fire your designer. Now. Don’t bother auctioning those bumblebee suits; burn them. Please.

  • With bag over head, The Unknown Football Fan

Dear Shopkeeper;

I was relieved to find out that the vintage fur coat was beaver. I ran my hands down the front and it felt an awful lot like I was petting my bunny, Buttercup. The coat was lovely, but I was glad to know it wasn’t rabbit.

  • Yours truly, The Bunny Whisperer

Dear pharmacy that shall not be named;

You haven’t fixed the chopped-off voice mail message yet. It’s irritating. Does no one check these when they’re changed? Never mind. Obviously not.

  • Just another customer
Dear Chuck;
I know my NFL predictions have been pretty close to right on in the past weeks. Unfortunately, I don’t think I could make a living betting on football games. Sorry, honey.
  • Love, Daisy

 

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3 thoughts on “Dear world —

  1. To yet another pharmacy which shall not be named:
    See Daisy’s message above. When you send me an automated call reminding me to refill a certain prescription name and a human inserts the name of the drug pronunced so poorly we can’t understand it, it does no good for any of us.

  2. The 9/11 “truthers” seem to come from both paranoid ends of the political spectrum. One side distrusts government because it’s government, the other distrusts government because the president was named Bush.

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