Dear Clinic That Shall Not Be Named; We’ve discussed this in the past. I’m growing steadily more disillusioned with your system. Like many teachers, I do my best to avoid taking sick time unless the situation is urgent. Assigning me to a medical professional who only sees patients from 9:00 to 3:30 just isn’t working.

Dear Replacement Referees; If nothing else, you have reinforced what most of the world already knew. Green Bay Packers fans are awesome. We didn’t riot in the streets (much), we didn’t tip cars or blow up dumpsters. We took to the social media instead. Tweet, tweet!

Dear Union Buster Walker; Did you really suggest that the NFL negotiate with the officials’ union? Really? Hell must have frozen over. First Favre really retired, and then Walker found a union he liked.

Dear city crews; Wisconsin has two seasons: winter and road construction. If you keep delaying the project on our street, road construction season will be over and it’ll be – you guessed it – winter.

Dear zebras; We’re sorry you lovely gentle animals are getting harassed by association.  The replacement referees do not deserve the nickname Zebras. We’ll call them… readers, what do you suggest? Flying pigs? Mockingbirds?