Dear driver of dented black pick-up truck;
Your bumper stickers do not inspire confidence. When I see “9/11 was an inside job” next to “I Stand With Scott Walker” I wonder…oh, I just wonder.
- Sincerely, An educated and informed voter. You wouldn’t understand.
Dear Pittsburgh Steelers;
Fire your designer. Now. Don’t bother auctioning those bumblebee suits; burn them. Please.
- With bag over head, The Unknown Football Fan
Dear Shopkeeper;
I was relieved to find out that the vintage fur coat was beaver. I ran my hands down the front and it felt an awful lot like I was petting my bunny, Buttercup. The coat was lovely, but I was glad to know it wasn’t rabbit.
- Yours truly, The Bunny Whisperer
Dear pharmacy that shall not be named;
You haven’t fixed the chopped-off voice mail message yet. It’s irritating. Does no one check these when they’re changed? Never mind. Obviously not.
- Just another customer
Dear Chuck;
I know my NFL predictions have been pretty close to right on in the past weeks. Unfortunately, I don’t think I could make a living betting on football games. Sorry, honey.
- Love, Daisy
Wonder if that truck driver is related to the driver of the big SUV that sports an American flag and a sticker stating “global warming is a hoax.” Idiot.
To yet another pharmacy which shall not be named:
See Daisy’s message above. When you send me an automated call reminding me to refill a certain prescription name and a human inserts the name of the drug pronunced so poorly we can’t understand it, it does no good for any of us.
The 9/11 “truthers” seem to come from both paranoid ends of the political spectrum. One side distrusts government because it’s government, the other distrusts government because the president was named Bush.