Attributed to Confucious, Eleanor Roosevelt, Old English Proverbs, no one really knows where the phrase began. Some insert a word, slightly changing its tone by saying “…sit and curse in the darkness.” Most are clear, however, as to its meaning.

To me, lighting a single candle means focusing on a goal, one goal, rather than giving up in an overwhelming world. In my world of clinical depression (and a sinus infection on top of it all), I feel like too many decisions are looming. I have too many candles. Can I cut down to one?

There’s school. I’m preparing for a new position next year. This is still uncertain; I’m working on Plan B while Plan A simmers.

There’s the book project. There’s resting, gathering energy, building strength.

The single candle doesn’t last if I burn it on both ends. Pushing too hard just gets me sicker and slows my recovery. Some days I don’t have a choice; I need to take a deep breath and go out in public to get the details of my job in place for next year. As long as I plan to rest the next day (or two), I can make it through an occasional tough day like that.

So really, what’s my single candle? Recovery? Recovering and taking care of myself is number one. When I’m ready for the next step, I’ll light the candle of Educating Amigo, our book project. While I’m working, the bunnies might just have to feed themselves. I’ll be very focused on my single flame.