So far:

• no naps
• keeping busy outside (re-potted tomato seedlings)
• half-caff coffee, none after noon
• keeping busy inside (laundry, a necessary evil)
• keeping mind busy – this is the toughest element in the list.

My brain has been linking memories and concerns with connections that just don’t make sense. Round and round, circular motion, or is it a spiral? If it’s a spiral, I wish it would spiral out of my mind and let me sleep.

Social networking is coming in handy. Online friends have recommended:

• melatonin, in small doses
• meditation
• notebook next to the bed for writing concerns, even poems
• Music: when I’m obsessing over regrets from the past, remember “Let it be.”
• Music: “Morning has Broken” to ease me out of bed whether I’ve slept or not

One major decision: Do I call the doctor? And if so, the family doctor or the psychiatric NP with the several-month long waiting list? I’m not eager to start Ambien or any other sleep aid. I fear the addiction that I developed last time Ambien was part of my routine.

Well, dear readers, I’ll take any advice you have for me. If I could just shut off the part of my brain that keeps replaying regrets and mistakes and — that’s it, just and.