She turned up on Facebook. Where else would a Barbie bounce into view? And bounce she did, because “University Barbie” isn’t a studious type. Here she is.

Rah! Rah!

I admit it; sports and cheerleaders are an important part of many universities. This Barbie wears the colors and shakes the pom pons and even wears cheerleader shoes instead of heels. Nope, it’s not all bad.

But why, I ask, why? Couldn’t Mattel call her what she is: Cheerleader Barbie? She could be one in a set of Universities Barbs. There could be sorority Barbie: Greek letters on her sweater, a pledge pin on her, er, chest. Senior Barbie could wear a cap and gown and have as a prop a diploma = and student loan papers. But maybe that’s a different Barbie: Long Term Debt Barbie. She could wear…well, let’s not go that route. Yet.

Science Major Barbie could wear glasses and have pale skin from too much time spent indoors between studying in the library and hovering over microscopes in lengthy lab sessions. English Major would have an old fashioned notebook around all the time in case she gets inspired with ideas for her Great American Novel. Conservatory of Music Barbie would have several changes of clothing, all of it in concert black, of course.

How about Class President Barbie? She could wear classy clothing, all suitable for making speeches and doing interviews on the campus television station. She might compete with Debate Barbie, a pre-law major who is always itching for a cause she can argue. Drama Barbie’s wardrobe would include almost anything, since she’s always playing a role.

Artist Barbie could sport paintbrushes sticking out of her back pocket and paint smudges on her clothes, with her big hair pulled back in a scarf or bandanna. And then there’s…never mind.

I could go on and on, but my point is this: Call a spade a spade. Call Cheerleader Barbie by her true specialty. Make sure she doesn’t say, “Math class is hard.” Then make a University Barbie that looks like a student. Wait…maybe a professor? Yes, Prof Barbara (no “ie” for this one) it is! I’ll start working on the design right away. In the meantime, jump around with Barbie Badger..

When you say Wisconsin, you’ve said it all!