>Is your home childproofed?


A close friend forwards emails to me all the time. I read them, delete most, and rarely forward them any farther. I have to admit, though , that the last one she sent made me laugh. My comments are in italics.


1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. Sit down? He crashes on the couch and then doesn’t move except to eat.
2. Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your own children. I just hope my children don’t decide to give me that “gift” anytime soon.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. At age 6, I could ask “where did you hear/learn that?!” At age 16, I don’t really want to know.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said! And when the kid doing the quoting has a near-photographic memory, you’re screwed.
5. The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own. Doing time as a Girl Scout leader can fill this purpose, too.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in. And I must admit it, darn, they’re cute sometimes. I just hope mine will support me some day in the style to which I’d like to become accustomed. Heck, let me dream.

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5 thoughts on “>Is your home childproofed?

  1. >I can really relate to these!

    However, we’re almost at “the end”. Child #1 is a college graduate, and #2 “walk” after one more semester (in December). He has a full-time job in his college community, and we don’t see him in the summer.

    Child #3 is almost 20 and working full-time. Still lives with us, but we’re pulling the feathers out of his nest slowly so he’ll be ready to fly soon!

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