>I didn’t write this. I wish I had; it’s brilliant. The original source is the Wisconsin Democratic Party leadership.
By the way, how do you break up with a guy on a tractor? I’ll tell you when we’re done breaking up with Scottie.
Dear Scott,
There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to come right out and say it. This isn’t working. It’s time for us to see other people.
I wish I could say that it was me, not you, but we both know that isn’t true. It’s you. When we first got together, part of me really had reservations, but the other part was so hopeful about what we could become together. But then you did it – you know what you did.
When you dropped that bomb on me a year ago, it changed the way I thought of you. You never told me that’s what you were planning. We never talked about that. Ever. If you had told me the truth, I doubt we ever would have gotten together in the first place. It made me wonder if I could ever trust you again.
And when I told you how I was hurting, and how your betrayal rocked me to the core, what did you do? You kept lying. You said it was my fault. That what I wanted – a great education for my kids, affordable healthcare for the people I care about, and to see my friends and neighbors work family-sustaining jobs where they are treated with respect and dignity — was too much. An “entitlement.” Well maybe you just think I’m high-maintenance, but I don’t think those things are too much to ask for.
So… I think it’s best that we cut our losses and both move on. I don’t know exactly what my future holds, but I know I just don’t see you in it any more. You might be a disgrace in my eyes, but you’ll land on your feet. You have plenty of rich friends for whom you’ve done a TON of favors. Someone will take care of you.
And speaking of your friends, that’s another thing I just can’t handle. How could you think I’d be okay with inviting people who steal from the families of veterans, commit sex crimes against children, and criminally misuse public office into my home?
But really, all of this just brings me back to your terrible judgment and dishonesty. I need someone who listens to me, is honest with me and wants to see me be the best I can be. Someone who will cherish the values and institutions I hold so dear. Because you clearly aren’t that person.
Love,
Wisconsin
Okay, readers. In the good Wisconsin farmland tradition, the punch line. How do you break up with a guy on a tractor? Send him a John Deere letter, of course.