Remember the Daisy Reality Show? It was the fictional creation of a reality show featuring yours truly, a television producer, and the producer’s bumbling assistant. Creating “Reality Show” posts lets me experiment with point of view and reassure myself that my life, in reality, is quite ordinary. Here’s a potential discussion between the producer and her assistant.
Producer: We won’t get much today. Daisy isn’t feeling well.
Assistant: Really? I hadn’t noticed. How can you tell? Give me one good way to tell that Daisy isn’t at her best!
Producer: I’ll do better than that.
- Daisy didn’t label or put away the applesauce she canned three days ago.
- The kitchen compost bucket is full.
- She stepped outside, said,”The container plants need watering,” and stepped inside without watering anything.
- The large hot water bath canner, full of water, still sits on the stove, taking up space.
- Daisy made coffee this morning and only drank half of what she brewed.
- Daisy ate popcorn for breakfast – stale popcorn, at that. Easy on the tummy, I guess.
- She didn’t empty the dishwasher, either. That’s one of her pet peeves; a dishwasher full of clean dishes, and a counter with piles of dirty dishes.
- The newspapers from the last two days are still in their (stupid, wasteful, plastic) delivery bags.
- Bunny didn’t get fed until quite late this morning, and the litter box still isn’t clean.
- And the biggest piece of evidence that Daisy might be ill: It’s Saturday, and she didn’t go to the downtown Farmers’ Market.
Assistant: Oh.